New research published today claims that when buying food in a fast food outlet such as McDonald’s, Burger King or KFC, then statistically you are 71.6% more likely to join the wrong queue and consequently you will have to wait longer to be served than other customers.

Professor Edward Manning from Oxford University explains. ‘We carried out many tens of thousands of actual purchasing tests across Europe, America and The Far East, and we also looked at historical data from British Post Offices before the introduction of the ‘one queue ticketing system’.

‘Consequently we are sure of our findings one hundred percent. It’s just one of those things, I’m afraid and there’s nothing you or indeed anybody can do about it. Call it Sod’s Law if you will.’

‘As a side product of our study, we uncovered one other interesting statistic,’ added Professor Manning. ‘We found that particularly in UK outlets of these establishments then overall waiting times for customers to receive their food is on average 89.4% longer than in any of the other territories.’

When asked by one reporter if this differential was because of any specific and quantifiable differences, the professor replied: ‘We did try to look into this further by interviewing UK counter staff, however in absolutely every instance we were met with a surly and uncooperative response, so therefore we were unable to collect the relevant data.’