Newly proposed entrainment streaming service, Britbox, a joint collaboration between ITV and BBC designed to take on the market supremacy of Netflix and Amazon Prime, has been kicked into the long grass because the broadcasters could not agree over the involvement of ITV’s superstars Ant & Dec.
It’s understood the commercial partner was insisting the lovable audience-boosting Geordie duo was to play a major part in the channel to attract subscriptions from a wider demographic, but that ‘highbrow’ BBC was having none of it with one inside source saying: ‘We will not allow this new venture to be in any way sullied with dumbed-down lowest common denominator moronic shite.’
‘Look, we could get Noel Edmonds and that pink rubber wanker he knocks around with to do that sort of bollocks for a fraction of the cost. Ant and Dec ripped off most of their Saturday Night show from Noel’s House Party anyway,’ the source insisted.
Meanwhile reports suggesting the impasse had been unblocked appear now to have been unfounded which has effectively signed the death warrant for the fledgling project.
Senior ITV executives had proposed Stephen Mulhern, a curiously terrifying meld of both Ant and Dec into one single being, could be a workable compromise, but upon reviewing tapes of several of Mulhern’s ITV shows the BBC quickly vetoed the move pointing out they would actually prefer Joe Pasquale or Keith Lemon if push came to shove.