The eponymous lumberjack in Monty Pythons Lumberjack Song is to sue the surviving Pythons for defamation of character and chronic debilitating stress, allegedly brought about by a lifetime of having people snigger and point at him every time he ventured out in public after the song was first broadcast.
Wishing to exercise his right not to be identified by his real name Graham Chivers told reporters: ‘As soon as that episode of the show went out that was it for me. Other loggers I had been working with, colleagues of many years, shunned me and I became an outcast overnight.’
‘Well I’m going to put the record straight for once and for all. I never once skipped and jumped when at work. Chainsaws and razor-sharp axes are not the kind of gear you’d ever want to risk doing that sort of thing with when using them.’
‘And as for the cross-dressing slurs and insinuations about high heels, suspenders, bras and hanging round in bars? Well so what if I did. It wasn’t against the law. And that bunch of la-de-da luvvies could bloody well talk. Half the time they were in drag themselves.’
‘What about all those fishwife characters they played in their sketches. Methinks they did protest too much. I imagine it all stemmed from having Public School and Oxbridge educations.’
Meanwhile media lawyers will now watch developments very closely as it’s believed should the lumberjack’s action prove successful then there are many other song characters feeling similarly aggrieved more than ready to start barking up the same tree.