It’s being reported that Barry Sloane from Wigan totally lost his shit during a row with his neighbour, who without seeking permission, erected a ninety-nine foot steel replica of The Eiffel Tower in the corner of his back garden just over the fence from Mr Sloane’s prize tomato plants.

However classic French New Wave film enthusiast Sean Ryan, Mr Sloane’s neighbour can’t see what the fuss is about. ‘I re-imagine cinema classics through the medium of Warhammer figures and a stop motion animation App on my phone. I’m  shooting Truffaut’s The 400 Blows at the moment so obviously I need the Eiffel Tower as backdrop.’

‘I really can’t see what’s wrong and why Barry’s taking it so badly. Mind you, it was exactly the same last year during Breathless when for some reason he took exception to my Notre Dame Cathedral, just because the teeniest tiniest section of one of the flying buttresses overhung his fence by no more than a smidge.

You know honestly,sometimes I believe there are people just waiting to take offence over the slightest little thing.’