Former Goodie, ornithologist and something of an irascible short-tempered old grumpy-guts, Bill Oddie, is understood to be livid after waiting at the foot of the iconic White Cliffs of Dover yesterday expecting to see bluebirds soar overhead.

He told reporters: ‘I set up all my gear around 5am so as I would be in position when first light came up. But as the day wore on I became progressively more narked as there wasn’t so much as even one single feather of a bluebird to be seen.’

But seagulls? Oh yeah, there were thousands of them – crapping everywhere dive-bombing me and trying to snatch my sarnies – the vicious bastards.’

A clearly livid Mr Oddie went on to say that he’d now come to the conclusion the promise made by Dame Vera Lynn in The White Cliffs of Dover was nothing more than a fanciful notion.

‘I just Googled bluebirds,’ he seethed, ‘and what about this. We don’t even have the bloody things here in the Britain. Turns out they’re a species of warbler native to North America. Fuck sake!’