True-blue British patriot and fiercely pro-Brexit super-boffin, Sir James Dyson, has announced his company’s latest reinvention of a household gadget that didn’t particularly need reinventing.
Speaking to reporters he said: ‘The Dyson Turbo Sugar Spoon sets new standards when it comes to adding sweetness to your cup of coffee or tea. Microscopic sensors within the handle constantly monitor the weight and granular structure of the payload in the bowl, upwards of a mind-boggling 2,300,000 time per nanosecond, and then relay that information to your smart device via our new Dyson App. This is another great shot in the arm for British enterprise and entrepreneurship.’
However when it was revealed the new product is to be manufactured in the Far East, Dyson waved all criticisms aside. ‘
‘Look, this is great for Britain, it’s great for Brexit, but above all else, at £360 for a set of four spoons, it’s bloody fantastic for my bank balance.’