Concerns are growing for Nigel Farage following reports that whilst appearing on comedy radio station, LBC, and buoyed by current strong polling figures for his Brexit Party, he became overexcited and as a result is believed to have disappeared up his own arsehole with little or no possibility of a successful extraction.
A crack team of medics was quickly dispatched to the broadcaster’s studios but has since reported that, unfortunately, they were unable to save the self-styled ‘man of the people’ from his plight.
Dr Sanjay Singh said: ‘We rushed to the scene as soon as we were made aware of what had happened but by the time we arrived sadly Mr Farage was gone. All that remained was a disembodied muffled voice repeating endlessly – we’re taking back our sovereignty – 52 to 48% percent – the will of the people.’
Disappearing up one’s own arsehole is a condition brought on by the victim’s catastrophic over-exuberance, self righteousness, colossally smug arrogance and downright obnoxiousness.
To date only a small handful of sufferers is known to be living in remission fighting the condition, notably Jeremy Clarkson, Piers Morgan and perhaps most surprisingly of all, the President of the United States, Donald Trump.
Dr Singh added, ‘There has been some work done in the US whereby a communication link can be inserted up the bum-hole of a sufferer but it’s felt the operation is too risky in Mr Farage’s case.’
‘This is because he’s so full of shit anyway that it could jeopardize the lives of any medical team attempting the procedure.’