Documents found in a briefcase left on a train at Chelmsford Station, have left the fledgling Brexit Party looking red-faced and distancing themselves from claims that one is a record of the minutes of a meeting chaired by Nigel Farage, at which the party’s inner circle discussed its manifesto for an upcoming General Election.
Cleaner Neil Finlay discovered the briefcase and immediately was left in no doubt about what he had found. He told The Blether: ‘It had one document inside which was several A4 pages paperclippeded together. The front page had a title written in what looked like crayon saying Brexit Party Manifesto – General Election 2019. Brexit, party, manifesto, general and election were all misspelled.’
‘There was then one bullet point listed “Implement Brexit” both words misspelled again. Nothing else was written on the page. Next page was headed “Fiscal Strategy”, but was blank except for the heading while the third page, entitled “Education and NHS” had a doodle of a woman with large breasts and a completed game of hangman, the man having been hanged with the letters JERE-Y -OR-YN filled in but then several question marks and an exclamation mark beside them.’
However Brexit’s leader Nigel Farage was quick to deny suggestions that his party’s plans, or lack of, have been revealed prematurely. ‘This is a smear by media and the establishment to attempt to discredit us. We are in the process of drawing up a complete and fully costed manifesto covering everything and will be calling a press conference on Friday to reveal our plans.’
‘Look I can even show you a draft document we’ve been working on. It’s right… now where’s that confounded briefcase got to?’