Pippa Forbury, an architectural technician from leafy Holmes Chapel, has been ostracised by her friends after making, what in hindsight, appears to have been a very poorly-calculated fashion faux pas.
Scarcely able to control her sobbing she told us: ‘I wanted a pair of ripped designer jeans just like all the girls in our set have but I didn’t want to pay seven hundred pounds for them. So I bought a pair of Gucci’s regular unripped ones for three-fifty and then took the scissors to them myself when I got home.’
‘I thought rather foolishly that nobody would know the difference but sadly I was so so soooo wrong. When we met at Jodhpurs Nightclub the following Friday everyone saw straight through my DIY tailoring immediately and they have all cut me dead since. I’m an outcast.’
Monica, one of Pippa’s erstwhile friends, commented: ‘It was pathetic and how she thought she could get away with it yet still remain in our crowd beggars belief. We will accept only 100% authentically pre-ripped designer jeans. At the end of the day it’s all about the money really.’
‘You see darling, because we’re all so wealthy we really don’t need to consider the price of anything. So what if we’re getting robbed blind just for the convenience of having someone in a sweat shop in India ripping our jeans for us? Just ask any of the girls. That extra three hundred and fifty pounds is money so well spent. I’m afraid Pippa just had to go.’