Britain’s male TV football pundits have breathed a huge collective sigh of relief today following the finish of the Women’s World Cup, because they will now no longer have to pretend that it was actually any good.
BBC’s male summariser, Dion Dublin, looking out of sorts, and if truth be told rather haggard, said: ‘Thank God that’s all over as I was on the point of cracking if it had gone on for even just one more day.’
Mr TV Football, the boy (Gary) Lineker, was today at a secret location heavily involved in some potato crisp-related business he had lined up especially in order that he wouldn’t have to answer any questions about the tournament.
Meanwhile it’s understood that having been advised that it might be a good for business and give him a boost in the polls, Tory PM wannabe Boris Johnson, will invite England’s 4th place ‘Lionesses’ to Downing Street should he, unlike the girls themselves actually win.
Speaking off the record he said: ‘I know our bally old footy fillies were pretty piss poor and won nothing, but you see all the hype around them means that they’re pretty popular with the electorate. So I’d be pretty silly not to lasso some of that goodwill by association. Eh, what?’