Following consultation with Grammar Police, Ofcom has given new guidance to broadcasters on what will be acceptable by sports commentators when covering live events from June 2018, and it seems that first in the firing line is the now profligate use of nouns as verbs, a trend that in recent years has become a cause for bitter argument.

A spokesman for the regulator said: ‘In particular this is a critical issue and we have had to act now. Therefore from June 1st competitors in Olympic, World or Commonwealth athletics championships and so on will not be ‘medalling’. Similarly Formula One drivers will not be ‘pitting’, unless there is a bowl of olives in the vicinity, and no sports people whatsoever will be ‘podiuming’.”

But the changes don’t end there. The words ‘amazing’, ‘incredible’ and ‘wow’ will be limited to a frequency of no more than three in any one hour, and if anyone says ‘the lad’s done tremendous there, Gary’, ‘they looked really weak in the final third’ or ‘he’s hit it with his favourite left foot’, they will be prosecuted without mercy.