On the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 blast-off, and in a sensational speech to the American Nation, President Trump has confirmed that he has decided to go to the Moon in person ‘because it might be there’.

Speaking to Deke Smithers, Science Correspondent for Fox TV (who knew?) he said: ‘We meet in a decade of hope and fear and in an age of fake news and conspiracy theories, an age where they ask us to believe that the Moon actually exists.

‘So I am personally gonna fly in Airforce 1 so goddamn high into the sky and see if the Moon is real. AND… if it is made of cheese, AND… if that old guy is still living there. Yes I am. You know it!’

‘Many years ago the great British explorer George Mallory, and by the way folks, that guy was a great explorer, way better than Ray Mears. Mallory was just the best explorer. Anyway, the guy who was to die on Mount Etna, was asked why did he want to climb it. He said, “Because it is there.”

‘Well maybe the Moon is there, and we’re going to climb it, and perhaps the planets are there, we’ll climb ’em too, and new hopes for knowledge and peace are there, so hey, yadda-da yadda-da, like what can I tell yah?’

‘And, therefore, as we set sail we ask God’s blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure on which man has ever embarked. Greater even than Star Trek.’