Following yet another senseless shooting in California the NRA has called upon Americans to stop attending food festivals, universities campuses, colleges and shopping malls in such large numbers. Adding if authorities would do something to curb such reckless practices then the problem will go away by itself overnight.

Speaking on Fox News NRA regional branch secretary, Zeke Zance, said: ‘Places were folks gather are the consistent factor in this kind of, it must be said, very rare incident. If these sorts of assemblies were to be discouraged, or better still outlawed, then there wouldn’t be a problem. We’re calling for less gatherings of folks in public, or ideally none at all if possible.

Meanwhile President Trump has sent his heartfelt condolences to the victims and their families. Speaking at the White House he said: ‘Now is not the time to talk in knee-jerk emotional reactions and is once again way too soon after the event.’

Then switching to the third personal singular to emphasise his point, whatever the hell he thought it was, he added: ‘But Donald J Trump promises that he will be looking into this issue and he will not flinch from implementing whatever legislation it takes to consign these barbarous and inhumane acts to being nothing but a distant bad memory. FACT!

‘Just so long as it doesn’t affect his position regarding the current massive levels of support and funding he receives from the NRA.’