In what’s understood to be a legal first, the right thumb of legendary Level 42 Bassist, Mark King, is to sue its owner for sustained cruelty, mistreatment and loss of earnings spanning a period of over forty years.
The thumb told NME: ‘I’ve had enough of it. For over forty years he’s been bashing the living daylights out of me, knocking me against steel cables without so much as even a thought of what it’s been doing to me. His behaviour has been callous in the extreme. Why couldn’t he just use a plectrum like many other bassists? ‘
‘Do you know that he once had me insured for £3 million pounds. Well precious little I saw of that, I can tell you.’
‘When he’s been getting all the plaudits, not to mention the money, over the years all I’ve been getting is appalling treatment with nothing to show for creating his “sound”.
Showbiz legal hotshots are watching developments in the case very closely, as they believe that should the thumb’s lawsuit prove successful then the floodgates will open with many other celebrity body parts trying their luck through the courts. Already said to be high on the list are Mick Jagger’s lips, Kylie Minogue’s bum and Dolly Parton’s breasts.
There are also as yet unconfirmed reports, that in a preemptive move, a crack legal team has already been briefed by Donald Trump’s penis.