A team of academics, total devoid of any real life experiences whatsoever, has made a recommendation to MPs that parents doing the school run will have to undertake it with their kids safely locked away in the boot.

Dr. Simon Potter the team’s leader explained: ‘We have concluded that children in cars are a major distraction to whomsoever is driving the vehicle.’

‘Our exhaustive study found that having as few as only two screaming kids in the back seat produces an effect which equates to the driver being approximately 5 times over the legal drink limit, vis-à-vis their concentration levels.’

A spokesman for the AA said: ‘This seems a rather extreme precaution and we do wonder where these so-called experts will draw the line.’

‘What next? For example, all vehicles involved in accidents have wheels. So can we soon expect to see pressure being brought to bear on car manufacturers to start producing no-wheeled cars?’

Meanwhile it’s understood that although MPs will advocate the government passes new legislation in line with the team’s recommendation, they will stop short of adopting the further suggestion that it would be advisable to hog-tie the children before gaffer taping their mouths shut.