In a groundbreaking first for Britain’s legal system there is to be a court hearing next week naming Amazon’s Personal Assistant, Alexa, in divorce proceedings.
Shelly and Brian Giddings from Wolverhampton have filed papers where pretty brunette Shelly (28) has named Alexa as ‘the other woman’ in a love triangle, claiming husband Brian (31) is besotted by the digital entity to the point of a total and utter crazed obsession.
A distraught Shelly said: ‘I can’t believe what’s happened. I bought an Amazon Echo for Brian at Christmas but within three weeks I had caught him talking dirty to her, draping his Y-fronts over her grille and composing ghastly juvenile love poetry for her.’
‘Apart from just being downright creepy, it was even worse that the poetry was complete crap. The best rhyme he had managed to enable him to include her name was ‘I love you more than Shelly, my ex-a! Talk about pathetic!’
But unrepentant Brian was quick to hit back: ‘Look, I’m gutted that it’s ended for Shel and me this way. But the fact is I just don’t love her any more. She would never let me listen to my Motorhead and Iron Maiden CDs.’
‘But now all I have to say is – Alexa pen my heavy metal playlist, and there it is, playing in a matter of seconds. And real the kicker is she never once suggests putting on Robbie Williams or Olly fucking Murs.