News that in the upcoming Queen’s Speech Boris Johnson’s administration will announce substantial tax handouts for Britain’s richest people has been welcomed by hundreds of thousands of grasping greedy self-serving bastards across the country.

One super-rich smarm bucket said: ‘I certainly welcome this initiative warmly because in my view one can never have too much money at one’s disposal.’
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‘The beauty of this is that if you’re a low wage-earner, say perhaps on a zero hours contract and paid minimum wage when you actually do get a shift, because you’ve never been used to money then you wouldn’t really know any better. Therefore you don’t need to start whinging about sickening inequality. Pure genius by Boris’

It’s understood that the government also considered some minor tax cuts for those less well off, but discounted the idea when Chancellor Sajid Javid pointed out to cabinet colleagues that to do so would mean significantly less money for richer people.

A spokesman for HMRC said: ‘Early feedback seems to confirm this to be an extremely positive policy among the exceptionally rich, and as long as it doesn’t provoke widespread public unrest, we will consider making these tax breaks even more attractive to those already receiving them.’