A man from Pease Pottage claims he was gobsmacked by what happened today when he put two slices of bread in his four-slice pop-up toaster.
Architectural Technician Dave Ryan told us: ‘I had just got the baked beans into the saucepan and my cheese was already nicely grated on a side plate when I put the toast in the toaster. I figured that by the time it popped up after the second cycle the beans would be nicely up to temperature and everything would be all good to go. But then things turned to bat shit.’
Because in a development that’s being described as ‘simply defying the laws of physics’, Dave insists his bread was done to a perfect even golden-brown colour on both sides after the first pass through the toaster, and that as a consequence his beans weren’t ready and his entire lunch was ruined.
However his story is being met with considerable scepticism with one domestic gadget expert stating: ‘This is either a hoax or a clumsy publicity stunt by the toaster’s manufacturer. There is no toaster in the world that can perform this feat.’
‘Pop-up toasters can do one of two things on first cycle. Either the toast is hardly marked meaning that you have to do at least one more cycle; not unless in doomed attempt to beat the machine, you’ve turned the toasting element up higher than five. But as everyone knows this inevitably only ends up setting your smoke alarm off and produces two slices of smouldering charcoal.’