The current Brexit uncertainty leading to dwindling numbers of foreign casual workers in Britain looks set to hit our festive boards this Christmas, with many meat producers warning of labour shortages affecting many of our favourite treats, not to mention goodwill to all men in Westminster and the traditional post-Queen’s Speech showing of The Snowman.
But no tasty morsel is likely to be hit harder than the nation’s much-loved pigs in blankets.
Alistair McKinley who runs a food production plant said: ‘It’s a manual operation, almost impossible to mechanise and quite frankly British people think it’s way below them to do the work. They’d rather leave production to seasonal labour yet at the same time vote for Brexit and embrace the idea that all foreigners should be “sent back to where they came from.”
One such moron, Barry Shite, a Pie and Mash shop owner from Billericay and who just wants to “get Brexit done” commented: ‘Well I think we should crash out of the EU and start trading on WTO terms. Just so long as I still have my pigs in blankets and a plucked and prepared oven-ready turkey for the big day I couldn’t care.’
However when the reason for the shortages was was explained to him Mr Shite said: ‘Well can’t we just get foreigners in to do this kind of low-paid menial work like what we have always done? And by the way, mate, what exactly does WTO terms mean?’