Airlines have been working with officials at Gatwick Airport in an attempt to speed up passengers stowing their items in overhead lockers thereby allowing flights to board by up to 10% quicker.

A Ryanair spokesman said: ‘We think this is a tremendous idea and it has our full support. We’ve nothing finalised yet but you can be sure that when we do come up with something it will definitely involve charging customers extra.’

‘For example one thing we’re considering is adding an optional fifteen pounds per passenger “express stowage surcharge”. Passengers who pay it will have a member of cabin crew harangue them personally to “crack on for Jesus sake!” The thing we’re struggling with is inventing a plausible story to make it look like it’s actually worth paying, but rest assured we’re working on that.’