A Bolton man has told of a ‘terrible and harrowing’ ten-hour ordeal he endured when along with his young son they were trapped in the company of foraging TV survivalist Bear Grylls.
Still shaking and clearly in shock divorcee Barry Hogarth told reporters: ‘It was my turn to have access to my son Daniel for the weekend, so with a long Saturday stretching out before us I was delighted when he suggested we just stayed in and watched some box sets.’
‘How the fuck did I know the silly little bugger had become obsessed with Bear Grylls and his bloody survival load of utter bollocks. God help me, but I had to watch ten of the wretched shows back-to-back.’
Now with Daniel safely back with his Mum for the next two weeks, Barry revealed that he has cancelled his Sky Q and Netflix subscriptions to avoid any possible repetition of last weekend’s ordeal.
Obviously still deeply scarred by his experience he said: ‘The reason that I don’t need to know how survive by distilling my own piss or extracting vital nutrition from baboon semen is because I’ll be down the pub or in the curry house.’
‘In common with nearly everyone else on the planet I have absolutely no intention of getting lost in some fucking jungle or desert in the arse-end of nowhere!’