Although there is to be no formal head-to-head meeting scheduled between Donald Trump and Boris Johnson at the NATO summit, Newsbiscuit can reveal the bungling blustering PM has been summoned to a rendezvous with his boss, Donald Trump, and will receive a proper dressing down behind the bins round the back of the exclusive Grove Hotel.

Trump is to to tear a strip off Johnson over the latter’s dodging a one-to-one showdown with BBC’s attack dog and veteran journalist Andrew Neil.

Speaking exclusively to us Mr Trump said: ‘Boris, who by the way I like, he’s a buddy of mine. But he’s running scared of Neil. That’s not good. That’s bad, real bad. He needs to go on the attack. Make Neil look silly. I’ve seen photos of the guy. His hair looks kinda weird, doesn’t it?’

‘Silly-looking hair is a sign of weakness and ineptitude. Bonzo’s gotta take the meeting and use that. Make fun of it. Neil’s a sad guy. With sad and crazy hair. Crazy weird hair makes folks look like idiots. Just tells me they’re incompetent performers. FACT!’