Boris Johnson, who during his time at Eton was inspired by the Billy Bunter stories of Frank Richards, is now re-imagining the tales in real life and started with the first one yesterday acted out at the NATO summit.
Boris Johnson’s Big Blunder
Donald Trump gives Boris Johnson a Chinese burn, a wedgie and taken his dinner money away after Johnson was seen mocking him during World Leaders’ playtime earlier today.
Trump then warned: ‘I have given him one last chance but if he goofs up again then he’s outta my gang, and he’ll not get off so lightly next time. He needs to understand that hanging around dissing me with that two-faced sneak Trudeau and his pals isn’t nice. If he does it just once more he’ll be de-bagged and have itching powder rubbed into his genitals.’
Meanwhile appearing alongside Trump, a contrite and sheepish Johnson said: ‘I say you fellows, look here, I never made fun of Trump. Never did, never did, never did. And anyway I wasn’t even there with old Frenchie Macron and that woman who said she was a Princess. It’s all just nasty fibs and lies.’
However tiring of Johnson’s protests Trump kicked him up the arse causing Johnson to howl ‘Yarooh! Beast!’
Trump was last seen leading Johnson away by the ear and shouting: Come on stoopid! We’re having afternoon tea in the American Common Room and we need somewhere to stack the toasted crumpets.