A sinister Tory plan to dupe the public has been thwarted by an eagle-eyed BBC producer.
Executive producer David Barker said: ‘I was on duty overnight and popped into the gallery were I was surprised to see live monitors showing what appeared to be Andrew Neil and Boris Johnson involved in a one-to-one interview. But I knew something funny was going on when I heard Neil say:
“Well, Mr Johnson, I take back unreservedly what I said last week. You have certainly not been running scared of a brutal savaging by me.’
“No, on the contrary, I can now see you are obviously the most fearless and trustworthy politician in Britain today. What is more you have demonstrated beyond any doubt whatsoever that your policies are one hundred percent sound and are exactly what Britain needs at this difficult time.”
Proceedings were halted immediately and Police were called who subsequently escorted three men off the premises after cautioning them for trespass offences.
It was later revealed one was a fake production assistant, planted by the Tories, planning to hijack BBC 1’s output on the eve of polling day to broadcast a pre-recorded bogus interview featuring Boris Johnson and Andrew Neil lookalikes.
Later on a whistle-stop blitz of key Labour marginal seats, the real Mr Johnson was asked to comment and told reporters: ‘Hmm… ah… gosh… erm well yes… umm… I-I-I-I… Haha… why yes, that’s it. I have it. Hurrah! So what about this for a yarn then?’
‘I know nothing about this matter whatsoever and I certainly didn’t sanction any clumsy attempt to mislead the nation when I signed off those expenses cheques to pay some bally old looky-likeys. Definitely not’.
‘And of course as the nation knows only too well, they can certainly believe me here when I swear that I’m really telling the truth. My absolute integrity is beyond reproach. Now, let’s get Brexit done.’