An incandescent Donald Trump has demanded to see the Wakandan Ambassador for a dressing down immediately, as the row over the nonexistent country’s free trade status with America deepens.

Speaking on Fox News the President told two tame-poodle anchor presenters: ‘These Wakandans have been enjoying free trade deals with the US for quite some time. Well I can tell their Prime Minister, Mr B. Panther, that the gravy train has just hit the buffers, fella. You guys are going to pay whatever tariffs we impose on you from today onward. Yessir!’

After a moment of reflection Mr Trump added: ‘But you know, when he gets to the Oval Office I might throw their ambassador guy a bone, in return for a real sweet deal on Heart-Shaped Herb, by pointing him in the direction of the UK.’

‘If Wakandans want a walkover on free trade deals then those Limeys might be worth a try. They’re certainly very compliant with us right now and have been desperate to accept virtually any terms we’ve thrown at them no matter how crap they are.’