Veteran Hollywood actor William Shatner is said to be seething after having been passed over by President Trump to head up America’s newly-created Space Force.
The former Star Trek star told reporters: ‘I’ve been doing this shit since the 60s. No one was better placed than me to take on the role. I have defeated so many little green men it would make your head spin. It’s thanks to me that the global threat of Klingons was neutralised. OK so I might have a little help from Andrex and Kimberly-Clark, but it was mostly me. Right?’
However when Shatner’s case was put to the President he hit back. ‘That guy’s no good. He’s past it and how the hell’s he going to boldly go anywhere with his eyesight? He’s a sad guy. Can’t see a damn thing. Wow. Everyone knows Space Captain dudes need perfect Panavision at the very least.’
‘But I know for a fact the man we’ve got to head up this important job is going to be just great. He’s gonna make American Space great again. Amazing guy, the best. No one is better placed to take this fantastic new organisation forward than American legend and fearless Space Ranger, Commander Buzz Lightyear.’