A new study published today has revealed that there is now incontrovertible proof of a correlation between having ‘a bit of a stupid hairdo’ and incompetence as leader of a country.
Professor Marcel Waive, from the University of Koln, told the press: ‘We began our research after my four year-old daughter noted President Donald Trump, Prime Minister Boris Johnson and North Korean Despot Kim Jong-un all have quite preposterous hairstyles. She then posed an interesting question: – “they look stupid and why are they silly mens, daddy?” – which was the inspiration for my paper.’
In an usually quick process the research only took half a morning to produce its findings that nevertheless weigh in at an impressive three hundred and fifty pages.
Professor Waive explains: ‘I looked at several of their key speeches online and it was immediately apparent that these three men are utter idiots. They have no leadership qualities whatsoever and their sole motivation is to wield power. They could not lead a queue in McDonald’s let alone the affairs of a country.’
When pushed on which of the three is the most incompetent Waive said: ‘Kim Jong-un is probably the most capable. Trump and Johnson were harder to split as both beggar belief with their levels of incompetence and gormless stupidity, but on balance we just found that when you take everything into account then Boris Johnson just shades it.’
‘You know, waving the Olympic flag in Beijing, rugby tackling that Japanese kid to the ground and of course the zip-wire. I mean come on, what a cock!’