President Trump has personally defended the recently unveiled Space Force uniforms, dubbed by many to be little more than army surplus camouflage fatigues after they attracted widespread mockery on all sides.
He told reporters: ‘These new uniforms are great uniforms, the greatest and the absolute very best. FACT! Say you’re on a mission fighting bug-eyed aliens and you have to hide in the equatorial jungles of Alpha Centauri.’
‘You’d be a sitting duck if you wore a regular bright white spacesuit. Right? So go figure all you smart guys out there who are laughing. You’d be toast even before you could draw your ray gun or be beamed up to the mothership. Our new uniforms are swell and fit for purpose.’
Meanwhile the man in charge of American military clothing, Quartermaster Major General Brad Schlibbitz commented: ‘A lot of folks think we just had a whole bunch of jungle combat uniforms left over from Vietnam and we wanted to save money so issued them to Space Force. That’s a bunch of crap. These have been custom-made for the job.’
However Captain Cody McGraw, who according to Mr Trump is soon to take command of the first dedicated US intergalactic military space ship, named USS Enterprise in homage to Star Trek, was reported to have been somewhat annoyed at having found a chit dating back to 1967 inside the breast pocket of his newly issued Space Force tunic.
The still intact document made out to Private Greg Thompson shows authorisation for two week’s compassionate furlough in Wisconsin following the death of his mother.