Prominent member of the now completely irrelevant ERG, Mark Francois, has transcended to a higher plane it has been revealed.
This morning his mortal body suddenly dissolved into a bright silver-blue gas before being carried away on the four winds as ethereal voices whispered and sighed ‘BREXXXXXXXXIT…it…it…it…it…‘
Close friends of the Captain Mainwaring wannabe and Rayleigh & Wickford MP said he had been looking particularly supercilious and unbelievably smug since 11.00pm on Friday.
Political agent, Simon Poynter, who was with Francois when he achieved Nirvana confirmed that this morning his boss could barely concentrate on constituency work.
Poynter said: ‘Mark was stopping repeatedly to dab great big slimy oozing stains from the flies of his trousers. It happened more than thirty times before lunch.’
‘Nevertheless he was serenely upbeat but utterly distracted, totally useless and incompetent, so as that was absolutely normal I really didn’t really think any more about at the time it to be honest. Then there was this funny chemical smell and he suddenly dissolved before my eyes’
Dr Julius Tripper, Professor of Paranormal and Astral Political Studies at San Francisco’s University of Hey, Wow! said: ‘What has happened to Mr Francois is a very rare phenomenon. It can only occur when someone achieves their true heart’s desire.’
‘I guess the closest most people may have come to observing it would be whenever Piers Morgan sticks his tongue up Donald Trump’s bum hole.’