Fire Crews were called to the set of BBC’s Great British Menu, when during filming for the new series one dish caused a major emergency and very nearly burnt the studio to the ground .
Contestant Paul Champion was recreating his much-praised – Ironic Vesuvius Erupting Amid Clouds of Compassion Caught Somewhere In Gran’s Fading Mind – paying homage to the NHS, when things went badly wrong.
‘I had just sprinkled shavings of unicorn testicle over heritage irradiated purified wasp excrement powder then fired up my WW2 army flamethrower to meld them together. But that’s when things went a bit mental,’ Paul said.
It’s understood the device was set on full power and instantly a 30-foot long flame shot out licking the back of Judge Matthew Fort’s jacket.
Luckily he managed to throw it off before he was badly burnt, but unfortunately it landed on top of a red-hot vat of sulphuric acid simmering on top of Paul’s mini particle accelerator and the whole studio went up!’
Chief Fire Officer, Reg Knaphill, who headed up the team that eventually brought the conflagration under control was less than impressed when speaking to reporters.
‘What is the matter with these idiots? Can’t they just cook sausage, mash and baked beans like bloody normal people do instead of dicking around with this kind of stupid nonsense?’
‘I am sick of it. Heston Blumenthal has a lot to answer for. Molecular Gastronomy? Molecular Gastronomy my fucking arse!’