A man from Berkshire who has been wrestling for forty years over what he sees as a difficult life choice, has reached out and taken a full-page advert in the national press in an attempt to force his own hand to settle the matter.

Desmond Martin, a retired council procurement clerk who is sixty-two and lives with his eighty-seven year-old mum Daphne said. ‘I have been wavering over this now for so long. One minute my mind is made up,’

‘I’ve put my coat on and I’m about to go to Rumbelows, the next my head’s in absolute turmoil and I’m back to square one. Do I go one way or do I go the other? It’s a living hell.’

Mum Daphne commented: ‘My Desmond has led a sheltered life, and after dithering all this time I now haven’t got the heart to tell him that he’s more than likely missed the boat.’

Desmond’s advert simply says Oh dear, please can you help as I just don’t know which one to choose – VHS or Betamax?

There is a Facebook page where the public can visit and make recommendations to help Desmond with his plight.

So far the only comments left have been a selection of cock GIFs and a torrent of the most unspeakably vile abuse imaginable.