A some say superstar who used to be in a successful boy band, has crashed to earth with a bump today after his new solo album was kept from topping the charts by a group of musicians.
Trey Schneider a dancing puppet formerly of Which Direction said, ‘I don’t understand what’s happened. I had an obscenely massive PR machine behind me pushing this album.’
‘I’ve done every main chat show and even slummed it on ITV’s daytime dross too, so I was expecting to claim the top spot. I earned it.’
‘Now these guys who write their own songs and play instruments have come straight out of nowhere to beat me. Unbelievable. Have you seen them… they can’t even dance! It’s so unfair.’
Trey who was plucked from mediocrity and obscurity by serial opportunist Simon Cowell is now having to come to terms with the possibility that perhaps he’s not really all that good.
The twenty-three year-old has told his agent to ‘get on the phone and beg or do whatever it takes to get WD back together again for a tour and new album as soon as possible.’
Meanwhile Jim Marsh lead singer and guitarist in the newly-crowned chart-toppers said: ‘It’s great to be number one and something we didn’t really expect.”
‘I guess all those years of studying music, endless practicing our instruments and doing hundreds of small-time gigs up and down the country learning our craft might have somehow paid off.’