DUP Spokesman, Sammy Wilson, is set to be charged over breach of parliamentary rules and privileges for failing to declare in the register of members that he is also Coronation Star Big Jim McDonald. However he will first have to be ‘talked round’ by specially trained conflict resolution police officers.

In the middle of an interview  concentrating on his party’s likely course of action after being turned over by Boris Johnson he was suddenly asked if in fact is Big Jim. The East Antrim MP suddenly went into meltdown, kidnapped a cameraman and is now holed-up in a Palace of Westminster meeting room, refusing to come out until he gets assurances that he’s not going to have to go to ‘The Big House’ again.

Meanwhile actor Charles Lawson has released a statement through his agent: What? Me and Sammy Wilson… the same person? For God’s sake will ye away and catch yourself on!’