Despite being an absolute arse, members of the public were stunned when yesterday oddball Tory Jacob Rees  Mogg kept his role as Cabinet Court Jester.

Although widely agreed by many experts that he’s something of an anachronistic out-of-touch crackpot, sidelined on the margins of government and seemingly destined only to make ludicrously outdated and toe-curling cringe-worthy comments on moral issues, nevertheless he’s seen in cabinet as great entertainment too.

Mr Rees Mogg was being hotly tipped to be handed the new so-called PG Wodehouse brief (Secretary of State for the Idle Rich) but instead The PM has retained that office as part of his own remit.

Speaking to a group of specially vetted reporters forced to sign pledges of allegiance to himself Boris Johnson said: ‘Jacob is a splendid fellow who has earned his place at the cabinet table. We’d be lost without him.’

No.10 spokesman Simon Williams added: ‘Whenever Boris get stuck for cynical vote-catching gimmick he shoves Jacob the Jester in front of the cameras who invariably comes out with some preposterous nonsense about chimney sweeps or penny-farthings.’

‘It distracts people from the fact that Boris is nothing other than an over-promoted arrogant self-serving chancer who is simply looking after his wealthy City chums.’