As panic buying continues to spread there are reports that the scourge has now even reached the hallowed aisles of top people’s store Waitrose, with stocks of some of retailers most popular lines unavailable.
Many posh nosh treats are now only a distant memory after they were stripped off the shelves yesterday in a feeding frenzy leaving Britain’s middle classes completely distraught and in a state of despair.
Looking shell-shocked standing beside her Range Rover Evoque in the Woking store’s car park, yummy mummy Simone Williams told us, “Oh yah, it’s getting pretty bad. My husband Gyles is bringing some of influential clients to dinner on Friday and I just don’t know where I will get four Etruscan Wild Boar Steaks with Black Truffles from.”
“Do you know for the first time in my life I can now fully appreciate what things must have been like during the war.”
Meanwhile another shopper Yasmin Pennyweather-Hayes said: “It’s hashtag end of the world, darling. They’re the only retailer where one can source pouches of Heston’s Alligator Camembert and Bicycle Clip Consommé but there are none left!”
“After explaining the situation the ghastly little schoolboy oik of a manager had the cheek to try and fob me off with Baxters Cock-a-Leekie. Well let me assure you he shan’t be doing that again in a hurry. My strongly-worded letter to his head office will see to that.”