A group of three TV American evangelists say they will rid the world of Covid-19 if everyone on the planet agrees to donate just $5,000 dollars to their ministry – The New Church of Divine Deliverance.
The Revs Si Williams, Deke Pasternack and Chay Manners, all of whom bought their certificates of holiness from a man on eBay, held a webcast last night and already the money is rolling in. Therefore so too has mankind’s salvation begun says Williams.
He told us, “Feel the power of healing brothers and sisters. The Lord speaks unto me. Today he said – Reverend Si, board your personal Jumbo Jet to take this message unto your disciples. Donate and be saved!”
“Hallelujah, brother,” added Pasternack. “So too Jesus spake unto me – The way to rid the world of Covid is to DIG!”
“Dig into your pockets, dig into your wallets and purses, dig into bank accounts and send healing money to our ministry then verily shall we save you – details right there on the bottom of the screen.”
Placing his hands on the head of someone who looked suspiciously like his twin brother, Manners proclaimed, “This sinner is possessed of Covid-19’s Dee-mon.”
The man shook violently fell to the ground and writhed uncontrollably before standing up and announcing, “Wow, I felt the evil spirit leave my body. I am cleansed. You must donate. All details on-screen now.”
Commenting on the webcast President Trump said, “These guys are crazy, and anyway I have beaten Covfefe already. It’s gonna be history by Easter.”