In his first appearance since mysteriously disappearing from the public eye weeks ago, Jacob Rees-Mogg spoke to reporters today from his hideaway in Somerset to give some pointers on how to weather the Covid-19 storm.

His advice has certainly set tongues wagging and is prompting many political commentators to suggest that it may not be exactly ‘on message’.

Webcasting on Facebook and draped languidly over a chaise longue, looking remarkably calm as his wife mopped his brow, a very clearly chilled-out Mr Rees-Mogg said.

“Oh yah, these are very worrying times for us all, but you know what I find gets me through the day is getting off my tits on a cocktail of drugs and stimulants. Tinctures of absinthe, laudanum, cocaine and so forth.”

“These dull the nerve cenrtres of the brain responsible for panic and fear and has a wonderfully calming effect which I can wholeheartedly recommend to the nation. As I said to my good lady wife, if such a course of action was good enough for Lord Byron then why not I?”

When told the news Boris Johnson commented: ‘I cannot condone or endorse Jacob’s methodology, although speaking for myself, I find I can manage on rumpy-pumpy at least five times a day and the odd spliff or two should little Boris start to droop.’