The Tory Party has moved quickly to deny categorically that Dominc Raab is a former member of the Borg Collective, after widespread rumours have been circulating since Monday when he was put in charge of the government.
The idea has been steadily gaining traction with the public, many of whom have questioned the Foreign Secretary’s very noticeable robotic delivery and the complete lack of emotion in his voice.
Mr Raab, known to his close friends as, D-5 X12, has conducted the daily Downing Street coronavirus briefings since Boris Johnson fell ill.
‘This is quite frankly a nasty rumour being put about by those against the government who have an agenda to destabilise the government’s rather excellent handling of this current crisis,’ said a Tory Party grovelling lickspittle
“Dominic is an exceptionally warmhearted individual although I have to admit when I used to shake hands with him, before this current kerfuffle, he felt a little synthetic and quite cold to the touch, but that was just his ice-cool charisma coming through.”
However former member of The Borg Collective 7 of 9 isn’t so sure. Speaking to reporters she said: ” It’s been driving me crazy because I’m sure I have met Dominic before. He reminds me of someone who was hanging around when we shot Star Trek Picard last year.”
“Hang on… I’ve got it now. Of course, his regeneration pod was the one right next to mine.”