Political analysts in America reported earlier today they were having serious concerns, when drawing to the end of a White House briefing, Donald Trump still hadn’t spouted a meandering stream consciousness consisting of meaningless incoherent drivel and fractured waffle.
New York Post journalist Ed McAuley said, “Everything started normally with Hail to the Chief playing him on and we all waited for the bull crap to start. However looking straight ahead and reading from the Autocue Mr Trump delivered the prepared text and never once told us any of his own thoughts.”
“Since taking office we have become used to the him making crazy ill-informed and clearly off-the-cuff statements. Stuff like coronavirus will be eradicated by Sunday… it’s only a kinda bad cold… but most worryingly of all, that he’s a smart guy.”
“Anyways, as the briefing continued we all looked at each other and thought, Wow the goddamn moron’s gonna make his first home run ever. He’s actuality sounding like a competent world leader and statesman.”
“But we needn’t have worried because when he said “UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is really something very special: strong, resolute, doesn’t quit, doesn’t give up, that was real weapons-grade deranged mind stuff so we knew the real DJT was back in the room.”
“Trump’s a hopeless dangerous idiot but if he had to step down all the fun would be gone, we’d just have to report on a regular asshole like Pence. Hashtag boring.”