Prince Charles has confirmed rumours he’s fallen on hard times and is in a significant financial hole after an ill-advised financial transaction turned sour leaving him in “dire straits”.
Speaking in an upcoming documentary to his longtime friend, irritating wazzock Alan Titchmarsh, Britain’s heir to the throne dropped his earth shattering bombshell.
“The truth is that I’m skint, Alan,” said a clearly rattled Charles. “Every penny I now earn from the civil list, in addition to my other business interests, is going to pay back a loan I took out with a payday lender several weeks ago.”
“It was only for five hundred pounds to help Harry and Meghan with something, but it had to be cash and as none of us are that vulgar I popped into a shop called Loans Я You to get it.”
“Then things seemed to spiral out of control after I missed the repayment date. I’m ruined and don’t know where to turn next. They say I now owe them 7 trillion pounds.”
However help could be at hand as after hearing the news eighty five year-old widower, Albert Taplow, immediately announced that he will sell his house and will give the proceeds, along with his life savings, to the Prince.
“My kids will just have to lump it and anyway, living in a shop door until I croaks is the least I can do, ain’t it? Like after all what he’s done for the country.”