Government investigations into the missing cargo of PPE due to arrive in Britain from Turkey at the weekend, has now revealed the problem was been caused by one Department of Health shipping clerk who is a staunch member of the Brexit Party.

Simon Williams said: ‘When I saw the order docket I thought, fuck that, and ripped it up up. I was just being a true-blue patriot. So what if this costs the lives of more NHS front line staff and patients. I’m afraid my political convictions won’t let me have anything to do with Turkey.”

“We managed to keep 30,000,000 of them from coming here just in the nick of time before we got Brexit done.”

“But you mark my words, if we start bringing their kit in here then that’s the thin end of the wedge. Next thing the Turkish will start sneaking in inside packing crates and before we know where we are that thirty million of them will be over here taking our women, jobs and benefits.

“Then within six months it will be opium dens and crack shops, where they smoke them bloody Alibaba pipes, on every high street.”

“To have let this consignment in would have been flying in the face of the will of the people. And do you know what, I’d do the same thing again if I still had a job.”