In a new initiative Donald Trump has ordered 200,000,000, gallons of bleach and disinfectant to combat Covid-19

Speaking at a White House briefing the President said: ‘I’m a real smart guy, the smartest as a matter fact and I know stuff. A lot of things. I know some of the most tremendous things and today I have ordered testing to begin that will beat Coffee-69.’

‘So I’m pleased to announce health professionals will oversee trials in Michigan where we are to start injecting folks with disinfectant and bleach. We know the virus doesn’t react well to these things. It doesn’t like it. For this virus it’s bad. Just so bad.’

‘I have seen how disinfectant kills the virus and when it does the problem goes away. The virus is scared. It’s yellow, which isn’t a surprise as we all know where it’s come from.’

‘This treatment will be administered by great guys, fantastic guys with mullets and AK-47 assault rifles. Bullets will be dipped in bleach and shot into the body of recipients at a distance that’s far enough away to only wound but not kill them. I’m not crazy after all.’

‘Let me tell you folks, it’s gonna be amazing. Donald J Trump has saved the world. That’s just fantastic. It’s beautiful. You know it. Yes it is.’

However health professionals who actually know what they’re talking about were quick to debunk Mr Trump’s’ theory with leading virologist Barry Scott saying, “The man is a fucking moron,” while another Dom Estez added, “for Chrissakes! Can’t this idiot be sectioned to take him off our streets?”