Fears are growing that dissident group, The Pimlico People’s Army, is remobilising and threatening “serious civil unrest” if the affluent London residential area is not given parity with Kent when Britain crashes out of the EU without a deal in a few weeks time.
With his voice altered by audio software so he sounded a bit like a dalek, their spokesman, Stanley Holloway said, ‘We are demanding that the old charter awarded by His Majesty Edward IV, wherein Pimlico was ceded to The Duchy of Burgundy, is formally recognised once and for all.’
‘Why should Kent be handed any kind of special status on a plate. We were first. No King ever granted Kent a charter. So if anywhere is going to be allowed to introduce internal passports within mainland UK then it should be us.’
‘Since the charter has never been rescinded,’ Holloway added, ‘Pimlico is now legally the long-lost Duchy of Burgundy, and therefore we aren’t subject to British law. That includes social distancing, toilet roll rationing and these new draconian early pub closing hours.